


Kind of love I've been dreaming of

by Akiko_kitsune



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Artist Shouyou, Based on a Tumblr Post, Come and yell at me if you disagree, Did I say they are soulmates?, Dreams, Dreamsharing, Fandom take notes, Fluff, Let me have some weird AU for my fav boys, Listen to Me, M/M, Mutual Pining, Social Anxiety, Soulmates, Student Takasugi, They are bloody soulmates, that's canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-15 18:29:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18078734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_kitsune/pseuds/Akiko_kitsune
Summary: For seven years Takasugi and Shouyou kept having unusual dreams. When one day they met each other in the art gallery, the world showed them that life didn't have to be so different from the dreams to where they used to run. Everything depended only on whether they dared to reach for it.





	1. Takasugi POV

**Author's Note:**

> Based on heavily Tumblr's prompt.
> 
> The title is a line from Hozier's song "Dinner & Diatribes"
> 
> Sorry if it isn't the best writing. I had it in my wips for nearly a year and I needed to get it done.

Dreams are only an effect of our mind putting in order all the information we collect during the day. A way to keep a mind working. However, the manner in which all the things we have seen or heard can mix and combine is creating unbelievable things, whole storylines. Though, it’s all what we have already experienced. 

Takasugi knew about it. He always had a vivid imagination that brought him dreams more interesting than his everyday life. For days he could think about the stories that were made in them, about the places he saw, about the strangest scenarios that they could go.

That was until seven years ago, something changed. Like there was some glitch that couldn’t be omitted each night. One scenario repeated over and over. He saw only one place, thought the place differed every night. All of them had one thing in common. He was never alone in them. There was only one more person there. For the first year of these dreams, Takasugi did not even pay attention to it. This person had always been far away. He could easily ignore it. However, there was always some curiosity in him about what it could possibly mean. Who this person could be. He began to look at them more closely. A man with long blond hair. He could never see his face, because of the distance between them. Clothes also changed. Sometimes it was a traditional kimono and sometimes overstretched turtlenecks and jeans. 

Takasugi, drawn by curiosity, tried to approach him. It did not matter if he walked or ran, he could never reach him. The dream always stopped when he was close. He did not give up. He got the impression that he was getting closer and closer with each dream. Until he was almost at arm-length. 

However, he never reached him.

Takasugi began to slow down his pace, not because he gave up, but because he understood the mechanism of this dream. He could not catch this man. But if he could get close, maybe he should get more out of that dream.

When he first came slowly, with a beating heart, unsure whether he was right or wrong, the man turned to him. He smiled. And it overshadowed everything. Takasugi could not imagine anything as beautiful. The dream ended shortly after it, but he still achieved more than he expected. He couldn’t focus on anything else all day.

Since then, he always approached him calmly. The man turned to him more often. He smiled each time he did. Takasugi saw his face more and more accurately. He memorized it and wore it in his heart all day.

Now he was sitting next to him on the meadow, watching the sky coloured by the rising sun, in the moment when the light was only a horizontal streak. Everything was so beautiful.

Unfortunately, as always, he woke up. Or rather on this occasion, he was wakened up. And firsts sounds he recognised was never-ending complaining of his friend and roommate - Katsura.

"Takasugi, you promised to go to the gallery with me. If we do not gather soon, it will be crowded.”

Takasugi grunted, but got out of bed. He did promise him that. Also, he had nothing better to do on that day. He changed his clothes and shortly after they left. Katsura kept talking about some contemporary painter with a very interesting life story. Takasugi did not listen. The gallery was also like a gallery. Many of the works were aesthetically pleasing, but nothing impressing. Katsura kept pulling him in some direction. Maybe thanks to that they would come back at least sooner.

They went to the next room and Takasugi stopped. It was a temporary exhibition of one artist. All the paintings were landscapes. They were all made in unusual colours, though they shared the same emptiness and loneliness. However, they weren’t entirely sad. Rather, there was some spark of hope in them.

Katsura started to talk again. That was probably the painter he was interested in. It didn’t matter. Takasugi couldn’t distract himself from these images. He knew places from these landscapes. These were places from his dreams.

* * *

 

Takasugi began to come to the gallery at every spare moment. He sat in this one room and looked at these pictures. He kept thinking about them. He couldn’t focus on anything else. 

He knew that coming here was rather pointless.

What did he try to gain by it?

Meet the artist? And then what? What if it was just his mind that made some connection and there was nothing more in it that eerie feeling of nostalgia?

It was stupid to hope. Very stupid.

Maybe he should have asked Katsura, or at least listen to him more carefully in the gallery

Once someone talked to him. “Either you come here every day or I always fall in on you.” A masculine, soft voice, kind tone.

Takasugi did not turn to that person. He didn’t even know whether the person meant him or not. He was somewhere between dream and reality, in a completely different, own world. Maybe that made him after all reply to it: “I come here every day.”

“And are you sitting here?”

“Yeah.”

He heard that someone was approaching him. And again asked in that nice to listen to voice: “Do you like these paintings so much?”

"They remind me of places I know," he glanced at the person. And he could not look away anymore.

It was him. A man from his dreams.


	2. Shouyou POV

For several years Shouyou had unusual dreams. Beautiful places, sunsets and sunrises, starry skies, auroras. He did not know where they came from in his life. Before he was only haunted by the images of the war he saw as a child or the darkness that cut off everything from him.

These dreams were completely different.

Also, for the first time, he was not alone. Or rather he was not the only one living person in them. There was a boy. When Shouyou noticed him, it worried him at first. Why was someone here? Would this person hurt him? Would this person chase him out of here? He felt that he did not deserve this paradise. However, the boy did not deny him entrance to it. Rather, he wanted to approach him, grab him, but not to hurt him.

It would be better if he did never come close. Shouyou couldn’t offer him anything in return for all those beautiful dreams. He didn’t know anything as beautiful. He lived afraid of people around and locking himself in his own apartment. He had nothing to offer. Nothing at all.

He could only smile friendly and hope that the boy would not throw him out of those dreams. Just that. Yet, since Shouyou didn’t fit in with them, maybe he shouldn’t count even on that.

With time, he got used to his presence. Their shared their dreams soothed Shouyou. He stopped waking up a few times at night, disturbed by the softest murmur. These dreams were not just a relief from the painful everyday life. They became his strength. They showed that the world was beautiful when he was afraid to leave the apartment; that people can be as good and sensitive as this boy. Thanks to them, he slowly got used to his reality. He was coming out more often. He even began to fight for his dreams. He had been painting for a long time, but he never thought about showing his works to anyone. Now he began to show them. He even looked for opportunities to put them out.

Maybe he wanted to become more interesting for that boy.

Thanks to him, he had the strength to fight for his life every day, because no matter what he feared, each night in dreams came relief.

And so he succeeded. He got an offer from the gallery to exhibit his work. A few in the lateral minor room in the break between the more significant expositions. For someone who was still starting, it was even more than the fulfilment of dreams. He took the chance. He never wanted people to see his paintings to get fame or applause. Just looking at his paintings in the gallery he was happy that he managed to achieve anything.

And then he met this boy.

He was sitting in the gallery and watching his work. He said they reminded him of places he knew. Did he have those dreams too? When he looked at Shouyou he was surprised at first. Was it because he recognised him from their share dreams? But probably not. Since he loved these paintings so much, it was possible he had looked for something about their creator. Meeting someone like that was probably an extraordinary experience. It wasn’t important.

They didn’t talk for a long time. Only a few words. However, Shouyou knew where to find him. _He came there every day..._

Shouyou could not stop thinking about it. Especially when he painted.

Maybe it would be worth trying?

But each time he thought about it, all his fears were catching him again - he had nothing to offer.

 

* * *

 

However, Shouyou dared to take the chance. He went to the gallery at a similar time as when he had first met him. He was there. He sat staring at one of the paintings. For moment Shouyou just stood and watched him. How much it resembled their dreams... Two people in their own beautiful world who can not reach each other.

“You are here again” Shouyou finally spoke up.

“I said I came every day.”

“I wanted to check you out.” He sat down next to the boy.

“You didn’t believe me?” The boy looked at him. Those fierce green eyes. Shouyou always avoided human gazes, yet he wanted to drown in this one.

“I will not make that mistake anymore.”

"I hope so." He pursed his lips and looked away.

Shouyou smiled. Have you ever felt so light in your life?

Several visitors entered the room. They quickly went on, hardly anyone stopped for the novice's works. Though that appearance of a real element in their world knocked Shouyou off good humour. It was not a dream. It was real life. And in real life, everything tended to go the wrong way.

Nevertheless, he did not want to give up. He rarely talked to other people, but he wanted to talk to this boy. Maybe everything will go wrong, but he would not just go away without saying a word, without taking advantage of this opportunity. He finally met him. He had the chance to talk to him, to reach him. And he wanted to do it.

How did he allow himself for so much stubbornness?

“Maybe we can go for a walk?” Shouyou asked. He kept his voice sound casual. Like it wasn’t anything big. Completely not a thing way outside of his comfort zone. “The weather is nice today.”.

“If… if you want…” the boy replied hesitantly.

Shouyou only needed one look from these eyes, a few notes of that voice, so that all the strings of anxiety and hesitation in him would loosen up. He could take a deep breath. With him, he felt as if he could finally breathe.

When they left the gallery, Shouyou led him along the path he usually walked along the river boulevard. People in that place always seemed harmless to him. At least less dangerous than in other parts of the city, so when he grew strong enough to leave his apartment for a longer time he often chose this place. At least to calm himself down. However, with this boy... He felt so good with him. All his fears were disappearing.

They were talking for a while. About everything and nothing. With each step, with each word, Shouyou’s happiest memory was created.

 

* * *

 

The next day, while drawing a sketch of the new painting, Shouyou guessed the place he saw in his dream that night. Usually, the boy presented unknown places. Beautiful little pieces of this world. For the first time, it was a place Shouyou knew. They walked along that riverbank in the park talking. They were there together. Not only in a dream.

Did the boy think about it so intensely that it penetrated into his dreams? Was he also considered beautiful this moment of his life?

Shouyou moved his fingertips over the canvas. He wanted this painting to be the most beautiful of all he’s ever created.

There was one more thing that kept coming up in his thoughts when he was painting. Maybe he should invite that boy here...

And then what?

Shouyou wanted to show him his world, every part of it. Everything he had in exchange for all those dreams. However ... What reactions could it arouse?  He didn’t have much. Only a small cluttered apartment of an artist with social problems.

Maybe it wasn’t really for him.


	3. Takasugi POV

Takasugi knew that he would not keep any secret from Katsura for long. A friend immediately noticed a change in his daily routine, constantly slipping into that gallery. He also said that Takasugi was more often in a good mood lately. Possible. Finally, something interesting was happening in his life. Finally, what he was thinking about wasn’t just his invention.

Not only that Katsura did not sit quietly about it, but he also kept pushing them to go to the gallery. Probably he couldn’t believe that this was what was still Takasugi’s attention lately.

Unfortunately, Shouyou was also in the gallery that day. Takasugi got lost in a sight of him. Katsura noticed.

“Wait a minute, you… You know ...?”

“And what?” Takasugi grunted and left his friend behind. There was nothing left to hide. He walked over to Shouyou. 

Of course, Katsura followed soon after him.

“I'm a big fan…” he threw it out right away when he got close to Shouyou.

“Thank you,” Shouyou smiled. “The exhibition has collected various reviews…”

“It's really amazing. Please, do not give up.”

After this, Katsura started up a never-ending stream of words. Shouyou listened with a smile and politely answered. Takasugi sat next to them, not even trying to catch on what subject they moved again. He watched Shouyou as he smiled tenderly under the rain of compliments for his work and talent. That was a good sight. The most beautiful one of all collected here.

 

* * *

After these few weeks, Takasugi knew by heart every single element of this one room in the gallery. One of them began to torment him more and more. The dates of the exhibition. Today was the last day.

Shouyou also came to the gallery that day. He sighed heavily, watching the unrelenting dates. “Somehow it passed.”

Only that Takasugi did not intend to let it end like this.

 

 

* * *

Their dreams had changed during the time of the exhibition. Takasugi managed to reach him. He noticed that by accident. They sat next to each other. Their hands met. The dream was still going on. He could feel Shouyou’s warmth.

Another time Takasugi approached him, he grabbed his hand. Shouyou noticed this. He turned to him. He smiled. He opened his mouth to say something, but Takasugi did not hear a word. Wake up soon.

It only confirmed him in the belief that he had to do something about it.

 

* * *

Shouyou once mentioned that he worked at school. Takasugi found some open art workshops he ran. Well,  The art wasn’t his strong point, but if he could meet him one more time, he would do anything.

Takasugi came to them. Shouyou immediately noticed him. He did not expect to see him there, but he rather thought that they had come there by accident. He focused on running classes. It was only at the end of it he allowed himself to approach Takasugi and see how the boy was doing.

Shouyou stifled a laugh.

"I know I'm terrible," Takasugi said before the man said anything.

“You are not terrible, just …”

"I would have to put in a lot of effort to reach a tolerable level, but I did not intend to.”

"If you think so," Shouyou pushed his hair back behind his ear. “In that case, what would you like to get out of my classes?”

“You.”

“And where are you going to kidnap me?”

“There is a coffee shop around the corner.”

“Okay. When the class is over.”

 

* * *

Takasugi knew good this area. His and Katsura’s university was close by. They even drop by this coffee often enough, so Takasugi didn’t needed to look before ordering.

It was good. He needed some familiar place to breathe more freely even if the person sitting opposite to him was Shouyou.

“How did you like my classes?” he asked.

“I've never had such a nice teacher. You are very patient with everyone.”

“Maybe I'm not good enough. I have not noticed any progress with you.”

"I did not come here to draw..." Takasugi immediately regretted his words and blushed.

“Hm ... Then how did you get lost in my class?”

“I…” What he was trying to hide. It was better to spill it out and at least get to know the chances. “I wanted to meet you again. I didn’t want to lose you from my life. Just that…”

Maybe he said too much. Shouyou thought about it for a moment, wiping his fingers against the cup.

“You want to kidnap me for more than one coffee?” he laughed lightly.

“If you let me. If not, I can go and…”

“I live nearby…” He looked at Takasugi. “Maybe we'll go there?”

Takasugi smiled finally being able to breathe. “Sure.”

 

* * *

Shouyou's apartment was small and cluttered with everything that was possible. However, Takasugi focused on every detail, trying to put together the history of the owner of these items. His paintings were also there. Some of them were not at the exhibition. However, each of them was associated with their dreams.

“You really like my paintings so much?” Shouyou asked noticing where most of Takasugi’s attention centred. “Even if you are not interested in art?”

"I'm not saying that I'm completely uninterested. Rather, I personally try to capture the world in words. Still, I can appreciate the achievements of others.”

“You’re Literary Major student?”

“Yeah.” Takasugi lowered his eyes and blushed a bit. “But it was rather something to get out of home for longer without casting too much suspicion.”

“Do you like studying it?”

“Better than high school. But, yeah, I guess I enjoy it.”

“Then that’s more important than the reason why did you get there.”

“Maybe…”

“You know I… I used to paint differently, a long time ago. I never showed it to anyone, but…” whatever he wanted to say, he changed his mind.

“Could you show me those old pictures?”

“I have some sketches. I think I can show them.”

He pulled a large folder tucked between the desk and the wall. He opened it, flipped through the content. But before he gave anything to Takasugi, he hesitated.

However, piece by piece allowed him to see this side of himself.

War.

Suffering.

Fear.

“What changed?” Takasugi asked after seeing a few.

“I don’t know exactly... I started having dreams. All happening in beautiful places. Painting them became for me a way of dealing with the fact that I woke up with them.”

“Since when do you have these dreams?”

“For seven years.”

“Would it be weird if I said I had the same dreams?”

“It wouldn’t be weird.”

“And if I said I saw you in these dreams?”

“It still wouldn’t be weird.”

“Is it hard to be surprised?” Takasugi smiled and finally met his eyes.

“I saw you in them too.”

Everything stirred in Takasugi. He was not sure what to do. He wanted to push him and kiss him. Finally, after so many years, catch him.


	4. Shouyou POV

Takasugi came into his life and… It felt like he was always there. He fitted so well in any part of Shouyou’s life. Whether it was the gallery, the walk alongside the river bank, the classes or right now as he stood in his apartment.

He showed him his old artwork. It was scary to let someone see him, in that the rawest form, his bare self, but it was so liberating. Piece by piece some burden was taken off his shoulders.

Can you stay here for a bit longer? That was all that was on Shouyou’s head whole this day. Especially when Takasugi was looking attentively through his old works. Just this one egoist wish. He never voiced it. He craved for it in silence.

“I invited you here because…” Shouyou let out a heavy breath. It was nonsense.

“Yes?” Takasugi found his gaze back. He had such gentle eyes. He created that aura around himself that no matter what would be told, it would alright.

And so Shouyou spoke. “I thought maybe we could… Meet sometimes. Outside the gallery or class… Maybe it doesn’t make much sense, I'm sorry, don’t think about it…”

Takasugi put the drawing down on the desk and moved like he wanted to catch Shouyou’s gaze again. This time he was a bit unsure.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

“Yes,” Shouyou answered without thinking.

Takasugi came closer. He had to stretch to match Shouyou’s height. He hesitated for a moment. Just a moment.

He fitted there so ideally.

It was better than Shouyou imagined.

After a light kiss, Takasugi stayed close. He murmured: “I fell in love with you. Just by dreaming about you. When I met you, I fell in love even more. And I do not think I can move away from you..." he looked into his eyes. “Can I kidnap you for coffee more often?”

“How often do you want. I do not mind.”

“Can I come here more often?” Takasugi asked cradling his face in his hands.

“Yes.” His lips were craving for more kisses.

“Can I kiss you more often?”

“I hope you'll do it.” Shouyou leaned in to kiss him. Takasugi put his hands in his hair. There was no more wonderful feeling in this world.

And like that, they spent the rest of the day. Somewhere between sweet words and kisses, time relentlessly passed. Everything had its end. Every meeting had its moment of saying goodbye.

“Tomorrow is the opening ceremony of the new exhibition…” Shouyou said catching him for a little longer before leaving. “Would you like to come with me?”

“I would go with you everywhere.”

 

* * *

 

"Your work is better," Takasugi said as they left.

Shouyou stifled a laugh. He still couldn’t believe Takasugi came with him there. After he asked him, he couldn’t help but keep thinking it would not happen. Something had to get in their way. Life was never that good for him.

But he did come to him. He went with him to the gallery. He was with him whole this time.

With Takasugi by his side, everything felt like a dream.

“Thank you. I would not go without you. I can not stand the crowds. You want to stay at…” Shouyou stopped himself. He shouldn’t have asked about it.

“At your place? Can I...?”

“Your friend won’t be worried about you?”

“I can call him that I will not be back for the night.”

“It probably won’t calm him down.”

“I will tell him that I am with a very handsome artist. He will be too jealous to be worried.”

“I've been waiting for you for so many years, I can wait a bit if…”

“I want to spend the night with you ... And not that it was the first night we spend together," he smiled.

Shouyou looked at him in confusion, but after a moment he understood and burst out laughing. He heard the boy laugh too.

Shouyou kissed him. He didn’t care that they were still on the street in the plain view. He didn’t want to hold back anymore. Takasugi deepened the kiss. He didn’t want to step away for a moment. It was only after a moment that they both called themselves that they were still on the street.

Was this what it was like to be in love?

In Shouyou’s apartment, their laughs turned into heavy breaths and lingering gazes. Their touches were tender, slow, a bit unsure. Formal wear that was required by the occasion wasn’t helping them with keeping their hands by themselves.

“You look in it too well... All this time I wanted to touch you,” Takasugi whispered.

“No wonder you couldn’t focus.”

“I focused on what was most important. And the most beautiful. You’ve outnumbered everything I have ever seen.”

“That’s why you keep trying to reach me in these dreams...”

“You already know how stubborn I am,” Takasugi chuckled. “Although, the worst thing in these dreams was how I could never reach you. Now I finally caught you…” He slowly took Shouyou’s shirt off. “You’re so beautiful.” He moved his hand along Shouyou’s chest, abdomen and rested it on his lap. He bit his lip looking at his body. He was hesitating. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”

“You could have said something…”

“I wanted to take it slow, enjoy every little piece of all these and…”

“You were afraid,” Shouyou guessed. Takasugi always seemed so fearless. So prideful and fierce, always keeping his head high. But Shouyou began to see through it and he was someone who was as wary of any move as he was.

“Yeah,” Takasugi smiled lightly. “I was afraid that a dream would end if I run towards you.”

“It won’t end. From now on, it will go for as long as you want it to.”

“What if I want it to last forever?”

“Then we’ll make it last forever,” Shouyou moved to him. He kissed him, touched him, let himself be a bit more egoistic, let himself crave and take what he wanted.

 

* * *

 

“What are you doing?” Takasugi hummed when he was nearly falling asleep in Shouyou’s arm, but he could still feel his caressing touches on his skin.

“I'm trying to remember you.”

"Do you think you'll ever get rid of me after all this?"

Shouyou smiled. “I hope not.” He stroked his hair. “Where will you take me this time?”

“You will see.”

When they fell asleep, they were in Shouyou's apartment. They moved closer to each other and continued kissing.

And when they woke up they were still in their beautiful world.


End file.
